Total Drama: Yellow
by TheUnartfulDodger
Summary: Chris summons sixteen contestants to his new island, in the middle of Canada. He attempts to torture them through any means. He is accompanied, by of course, Chef Hatchet, who regretfully follows Chris's lead into what can only be a prison life sentence. 16/16 remaining.
1. The Summer Solstice

_Hello! For people who don't know me, I'm a new writer, so of course you don't, and a lover of all things Total Drama. So, naturally I read on this site and found some things I loved. So, I decided to take a crack at it. I hope you enjoy this series, and it's characters, in all their flaws and shining moments._

 _I just want to say before I begin my journey begins, that I love constructive criticism, and in fact, completely thrive off it, so I encourage you to comment and tell me what to work on, because there will be a lot of things I'll need help with, especially here in the beginning, not to sound needy._

 _Secondly. This story includes no swearing of any sort, I make it a goal of mine to avoid doing so, and actually succeed (Maybe a little too much. My friend calls me Ned Flanders.). However, there may be language that isn't for second graders (nothing against them), so I dearly encourage you, if you are younger, to use your better judgement?_

 _I guess I'll give a list of the cast? I guess? Is that what you want? I have no clue._

 **Males: Josh, Aiden, Jared, Hudson, Jack, Edison, Winston, Michael**

 _Females: Kelly, Kat, Andie, Cassie, Virginia, Lauren, Samantha, Nastasia_

 _Did you like that? Stereotypes? Um.. ok?_

Josh (The Precise Statistician)

Kelly (The Chatterbox)

Jimmy (The Dungeon Master)

Kat (The Insane Supporter)

Jared (The Jester)

Andie (The Normal Person)

Hudson (The Author)

Cassie (The Illusionist)

Jack (The Composer)

Virginia (The Judgmental Friend)

Edison (The Strategist)

Lauren (The Straight-A Student)

Winston (The History Buff)

Samantha (The Peacemaker)

Michael (The Handyman)

Nastasia (The Hypnotist)

 _You want me to start the episode already? But I still had to announce- Oh, all right... I'll get writing. That's what you came for, right?_

* * *

"Yo!" Our not so friendly host leapt into the frame of the camera. Not perfectly, but perfect enough to make you realize that the perfection was hidden in the the imperfection. Chris was not so tall, wore a plaid blue shirt, camo green pants, and a strange charm around his neck. He grinned at the camera expectantly. "So! After only a couple seasons of this show, we've been around the world, to the movies, stayed at a summer camp, and then _again_. And then _again_! Finally topping it off with a different summer camp!"

Chris paused to take a breath. "For those who don't know the rules of this summer camp... _experience_." He chose this word delicately, as if perhaps the word may determine the entirety of the world. "Every day, the campers will be put to the test in a physical, mental, or possibly a combination of both challenge. Because of this, the losing team will vote somebody out, meaning they must walk the dock of shame," he pointed below his feet. "And face some form of punishment forcing them off the island."

"I'll be your forever faithful host, Chris McLean," he said slowly and pridefully. He clearly thought a little too much of himself... to say the least. "And the rest of our cast features a psycho chef, known as Hatchet, and sixteen teenagers that will be forced to go through before mentioned challenges. One million dollars are at stake, so let's hope we get some drama on the show known as TOTAL! DRAMA! YELLOW!"

* * *

 _ **Opening**_

A camera pops out, through a knot in a tree, evidently spying on something below it, and as the camera shifts downward, there is a lake, where a camera jumps out of a lily pad, which sends a frog flying into some brush, where yet another camera pops out from the branches. The frog narrows his eyes at the camera. A boat goes past, carrying the entirety of the cast, including Chris and Hatchet.

 _ **Dear Mom and Dad; I'm doin' fine**_

The camera flies up onto the boat, where it goes through a life preserver on the side of the ship. It then goes to the top, where Chris is manning the steering wheel. He winks at the camera as it goes by. It falls down to the dock below, which is made of wooden slats. It slides between the cracks, to reveal Chef in an uncomfortable position with a plunger, and a toilet. He smiles nervously.

 _ **You guys are on my mind**_

The camera goes below the wood at the bottom of the boat, where Kat is floating beneath the wood, a frown on her face, and her arms crossed. She clearly had been forced under, because after time, her face begins to turn blue. She points upward. The camera goes above the water, sending water up into the air.

 _ **You asked me what I wanted to be**_

Jimmy is at the surface of the boat, one leg on the rail, laughing like a maniac. He is standing beside Edison, who looks over the edge, with a frightened expression on his face. He held his hands over his mouth, as Jimmy was still laughing. Kat's arm reached up out of the water, and grabbed him by the arm, bringing him overboard with her. Edison looks fearful at first, but then shrugs and walks away.

 _ **And I think the answer is plain to see;**_

The camera knocks Edison out of the way, sending him onto the floor. He looks at the camera angrily, but the frame moves up, and then back down and zooms in on Jared, who is laughing at a joke that he evidently made, because Josh is standing next to him, arms crossed, and eyes narrowed. He was clearly unamused.

 _ **I wanna be... famous**_

The camera flew past Jared, who looked very annoyed he was ignored by the cameras, but accepted his fate. The camera flew past Josh, who seemed like he really didn't care, much like Jared's earlier joke. It flew off the boat, and zoomed over to the island, where Kelly was talking to Nastasia, who had her fingers in her ears, and looked at the camera with extreme annoyance, but over the music and Kelly's talk, you could hardly hear whatever she's saying.

 _ **I wanna live close to the sun**_

Hudson was writing with his bright powder-blue quill pen, and on parchment. Winston looked over his shoulder judgmentally, evidently very confused that he was using such outdated paper and writing tools. Hudson looks up, and lifts the quill pen, which glints into the camera.

 _ **Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won**_

Samantha was separating a quarreling Kat and Aiden, who both appeared to be shouting at the top of their lungs. Samantha looked very uncomfortable, and it showed on her face, it was scrunched and she winced at the sound of Kat and Aiden's voices at the same time. She finally shouted, which stunned both the dungeon master and the insane person.

 _ **Everything to prove, nothing in my way, I'll get there some day**_

Cassie is holding a deck of cards, and does a strange hand motion, and then the cards disappear. She points to Lauren, who shrugs and reaches into her pocket, and brings out a deck of cards. Lauren looks completely bewildered, and stares at Cassie, who shrugs. Lauren narrows her eyes, and Cassie just shrugs and grins innocently.

 _ **'Cause I wanna be... famous**_

Jack is fooling around with his lap top. The camera turns around to reveal a music composing software, and a mouse moving across the screen, dragging notes onto the staff. A hand reaches out to tap Jack's shoulder. Jack jumps, and looks up. He looks at the camera, a little confused. He shrugged at the camera.

 _ **Na na na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa**_

Kelly is talking to Michael, who is trying to saw something against a table. He grabs a chainsaw from off screen and turns it on, which drowns Kelly out. Michael sighs with relief, only to find that Kelly's talking even drowns out the chainsaw, which he sighs exasperatedly, and turns it off, to accept his fate.

 _ **Na na na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa (I Wanna Be! I Wanna Be! I Wanna Be Famous!) (x2)**_

Andie was evidently drawing under a tree, along with Jared, who peered over her shoulder, and makes a joke. He cracks himself up, while Andie rolls her eyes. After a couple seconds, to Jared's delight, she snickers. Jared points at her, and he looks very happily at her, while she rolls her eyes again.

 _ **Whistling Chorus (I Wanna Be Famous)**_

The time turns from day to night, and the camera falls on a campfire ceremony including all the contestants. Cassie is playing around with decks of cards, Hudson is still continuing to write with his quill pen. Virginia is staring at him judgmentally, and Edison is looking around nervously at the rest of the cast. Chris jumps into the frame, spinning a plate of marshmallows on his finger.

* * *

 _ **Location: Dock of Shame**_

 _ **Characters: Chris, Chef**_

Chris was still in the frame, as the camera fades in. "So!" He declared happily. Sort of a sadistic glee actually. "Let's meet our contestants who will be competing this season!" He waited expectantly. "Um... hey Chef? Where's the boat taking the contestants here?"

"You told me to put dynamite on the boat, and then blow it up as soon as it sailed into the frame," Chef growled. "You can't expect me to do EVERYTHING around here?"

Chris was not pleased. "Yes. I gave you simple instructions dude! Put some sort of explosive on a shipping vessel, and then press the detonator to commit a casual murder of about sixteen teens. Is that so hard for you?"

"No," Chef said indignantly. "I put your stupid dynamite on the stupid ship."

"And then what?" Chris asked. He clearly was becoming more interested in Hatchet's story. "Come on dude! Tell me!"

Chef paused, and then said sheepishly said: "And then I left the... stupid... detonator on the stupid ship I mentioned before."

"Oh my Gemmys." Chris breathed. "You are an idiot, and that is a stupid story. But you told it so well!" He grinned approvingly. "Welp. Better let the contestants know there is a live bomb on their boat."

Chef nodded as Chris grabbed a speaker, and spoke into it. "Attention all contestants!" The scene changed to an image of the contestants sitting on the ground of the ship. "We are currently having some technical difficulties involving a certain deadly device, that may not have been an accident, on your ship. So we need you to find a big button, and press it."

"You are asking us to blow ourselves up?!" A man in a suit said. He was fairly tall, with a brown suit and a red tie. "I can't believe that this is really what you are expecting us to do."

Another man spoke up. He was holding a quill pen, and was writing on a piece of parchment. "Better make this my last entry," he claimed. "This had better be good."

"Just FIND IT!" Chris shouted over the loudspeaker, and caused quite a bit of feedback, which instantly shut down any side conversations. Everyone winced at the sound of the feedback. The camera reopened on Chris, who had crossed his arms. "Stupid kids."

Chef grinned. "That's what I said, you stole those words."

* * *

 _ **Location: Boat of Contestants**_

 _ **Characters: All minus Chris and Chef.**_

"What are we going to be doing for the next hour until the boat arrives at the Dock of Shame?" The man in the suit asked. "Twiddle our thumbs?"

A girl shook her head. "No. I think we should introduce ourselves first," she didn't stop for an answer. "So... uh, my name is uh.. Kat."

"Alright," the person in the suit sighed. "My name is Edison for future reference." He paused. "Just an um.. FYI I guess."

The person writing with the quill looked up. "Hudson," he said shortly, and went back to writing... whatever he was writing.

"You people are way too calm about this!" Someone spoke up. "There is literally a bomb on this boat, and we are completely fine with it?!"

A girl crossed her arms. "I think you are over reacting Michael. Because, you may have forgotten the detonator is on this ship. Chris can't activate it unless he's on it as well."

"Shut up Cynthia!" Michael barked. "You are under reacting. What if Chris has a back-up detonator?"

Kat snorted. "I wouldn't worry about that," she grinned, holding up a remote with a giant red button on it. "I got it, so don't you fret about that."

As if on command, a giant robotic arm reached out and grabbed the remote out of Kat's hand. She looked up fearfully. "Oh come on!" She cried. The arm retracted, holding the remote with it, to Chris and Chef who were on the dock far away, in fact, they were merely specks on the horizon.

"Thank you for the detonator! I'll thank you in the afterlife, or if you live!" Chris called. "To be honest, I'm rather partial."

Edison sighed. "At least he's grammatically correct, luckily for me and my grammatically-correcting tendencies."

"Testify!" Michael cried. "He spent thirty minutes lecturing me on the difference between 'whom' and 'who'!"

"You all are stereotypes!" Cynthia called. "As if it wasn't already obvious! I know it is, but I wanted to tell you before we all die!"

The boat exploded, sending all the contestants flying into the air, flailing about as they flew. The camera went back to Chris, who was looking through a pair of binoculars, and holding an umbrella. "I should have studied meteorology," he commented. "I'm 100% accurate, because I told Chef this morning. I told him, one hundred percent chance of teen showers. I have proof! Roll the clip!"

The camera zoomed out and two arms shrugged, while Chris's face turned from cockiness to pure hatred. "You didn't record it?!" He cried. "You guys! I need this cameraman fired, and I need a new one, dang it!" He paused, and nothing happened. "Or else I'll fire all of you! I'm talking to you McGillis!"

"If you don't mind me interrupting-" Chef began unhappily, his arms crossed.

Chris was clearly displeased. "You ARE interrupting. But continue," he said angrily.

"As I was saying," Chef growled. "If you don't mind me interrupting," he paused again, and stared angrily at Chris, who crossed his arms, and looked impatient. "When are the dang kids going to land on the dock? And shouldn't we have like, a mat laid out; or something?"

Chris waved him off. "First of all, we don't need a mat, because I'm pretty sure that the fall is survivable, and the first kid should be landing in.. three," he paused. "Two..." he said dramatically. "One!" Someone fell straight into the frame from above and landed out of frame in a heap.

"Ow.." Edison winced, getting up off of the ground, brushing himself off as he did, and straightening his tie. "Hi Chris, but I'm still a little woozy from that dynamite Kat set off. I think I need to lie down," he stuttered, wobbling around.

Chris grinned. "Yup! Definitely! Kat DEFINITELY set off the bomb! And uh.. Michael planted them! He could do that. He's a handyman, right?"

"Yeah..." Edison said dizzily. "I'll have to see and convict her of making a crime once this episode comes out."

Chris shook his head. "Wait for blue-ray. The blue-ray is always better."

"You make a good point," Edison stumbled over behind Chris, and then immediately collapsed.

Chris sighed. "Oh poor innocent sap. Awesome footage though!" He winked at the camera. "Hopefully the next one is arriving soon," he checked his watch. "Should be in about five seconds."

A female flew out of the sky, and also landed on the dock. "Are you kidding me?!" The female commanded. "I literally flew OUT OF THE SKY! To get here on this summer camp that I've heard is complete GARBAGE!"

"Good morning Cassie," Chris said smoothly to the illusionist. "And also, it's called weather control. It's being used to help precipitate in desert."

Cassie crossed her arms. "It's 2:30. Also, I know about weather control, and it's specifically used for the government, and not for reality TV show hosts!"

"Just... go and stand next to Edison," Chris sighed, pointing behind him. Edison waved clumsily, and then fell over again. Cassie lowered an eyebrow at the sight of the apparently drunken nerd. She shrugged and walked over. "Ah! Our next camper! Meet Jack!"

Jack was typing something on his laptop. He looked up. "Oh? Was I supposed to introduce myself?" He asked innocently, which angered the host, and it showed on his face.

"You need to pay attention to me!" Chris shouted. "I literally just blew you up! You survived a cartoon-ish-ly fall, and you haven't even looked up?!"

Jack shrugged. "Look, to me, music is a way of expressing myself. I try to compose a piece of music for every day is all. Some of them are over three hundred measures. Those are the bad days..." he admitted.

"That's... actually really beautiful," Cassie grinned. "I admire you for that. It's like a diary, but for both genders."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I change to tempos and the melody to fit my mood. Sometimes it makes no sense in the transitions, but I try to iron those out with some little details that anyone who listens to my music and can catch on to them, will ignore those trashy transition."

"Transition?" Chris asked. "Like, a camera transition? Marching band wasn't my thing, you know?"

Jack sighed. "Really? Not marching band, or.. uh.. concert band? Jazz band? Maybe an instrument? Drum major?"

"A drum MAJOR?" Chris asked. "What in the name of the red carpet? Who goes to college to study drums of all things?!"

"No! A drum major is a person who..." When Jack looked at Chris's blank expression, he paused for a second before saying: "You know what? That is exactly what a drum major is," he sighed.

Chris grinned. "Whoever that is must not have a career. Go and sit over there," he pointed. "And if you win, you can't use the money to become a drum major."

"All right, fine," Jack grumbled, and walked over to Cassie and Edison, looking a little annoyed at Chris's stupidity.

"Well!" Chris smiled. "We should be getting our next contestant... very soon." He looked up, and Michael fell straight down below him, and the wood on the dock began to creek. "Good morning Michael."

Michael was about as pleased as Cassie. "It's 2:35. Also, I could have built the bomb, you know? But only if you didn't blow me up."

"Not as fun," Chris replied. "Besides, I get a bonus check for every teen with a physical injury, you know."

Michael paused. "Are you serious about that? Because I wouldn't be surprised if that was true."

"No, not really," Chris laughed. "But if it was... well, actually, I think Edison might have a concussion, but that's all. One lonely bonus check."

Edison mumbled something, and then fell backwards into the lake around Wawanakwa.

"I see what you mean," Michael said, and walked over to the contestants. "I'm loving this already," he said sarcastically to the drowned Edison, who Cassie had pulled out of the lake, the exhausted Cassie, and the focused Jack.

Chris checked his watch. "Hey, I think this about the time-" he looked up, and saw two teens hurtling through the air. "Take cover!" He cried, and leapt out of frame. The two landed face first onto the wood of the dock, causing it to ripple a little bit. "Hey!" He said, brushing himself off. "What's up? Jimmy, and Kat, right?"

Jimmy looked up, and the stood upward. He looked around, hoping to find something evidently. "Where is my D-20?!" He cried. "I need that to play my pre-emptive win game of Dungeons, Dragons, and Daring Escapes!"

"That is such a nerdy game," Kat rolled her eyes. "And also, what on Earth is a D-20? That makes no sense." He was brushing herself off.

Jimmy's face turned red in rage. "For your information," he said. "A D-20 stands for a twenty-sided die, which means that there are twenty sides on a die."

"No," Michael rolled his eyes. "That completely wasn't clear from the fact that you were talking about D, D, and D, a dice game, and also the fact twenty was apart of it. Right. Didn't get that," he crossed his arms stubbornly.

"I wasn't talking to you," Jimmy snapped. "I was talking to the clueless, insane, female beside you."

Kat narrowed her eyes, and walked over to the contestant, coupled with an approving look from Cassie, a knocked out Edison, a disapproving look from Michael. "Aren't you coming?!" She demanded of Jimmy, who shrugged and put his thumbs in his pants. Chris gave him a look, and he walked over as well, as stubbornly as he could.

"Next up!" Chris exclaimed. "Contestant number... seven, right?" He looked at Chef, who shrugged. "I think it's seven. Here they come..." He said as another two people came barreling down from the sky. One of them was screaming, while the other seemed to be barely disturbed. They both crashed into the ground, which caused them to spread out across the dock. "Josh, right?" He asked.

Josh looked up. He was the one who wasn't screaming clearly, in fact he hardly made any noise at all, other than the 'thud' he made in landing. "Yes," he said shortly. "My name is Josh. And I suppose you are Chris?" He asked.

"Naturally," Chris grinned. "I suppose you are one of my many many fans?" He asked. In the background, Chef was shaking his head, clearly disappointed by the host's overconfidence and overall stupidity.

The Statistician shook his head. "Actually, in my last viewing of the Total Drama site," he said. "It only had a couple hundred thousand followers in it's network, which I don't think classifies as many, many in your book, considering your monthly paycheck," he finished.

Chef was cracking up in the background, while Chris was turning a little bit red, his face was scrunched together, and his eyes were barely visible. "For your information," he said through his gritted teeth. "Hundreds of thousands of people qualifies as many, many. And thank you for complimenting the paycheck."

"It's the easy way to get to the egotistical maniac cliche such as yourself," Josh said. "I'd rather do that. Also, that hundred thousands include people like Sierra with over eighty accounts, so the actual number is a lot smaller."

Chris recovered quickly from the insult. "Let's meet the other contestant. It's... Andie!" Andie seemed to be completely normal. She was wearing jeans, and a t-shirt that read: 'Sky; it's the limit'. She also wore a big straw hat with a red ribbon in it.

"Good morning," she said happily. "It is a great day, isn't it? Not a cloud in the sky, right?"

Josh narrowed his eyes, and mumbled under his breath: "Mary Sue."

"I'm sorry?" Andie asked, leaning forward ear first. "I didn't hear you. And also, if I did, I might be a little bit mad at what you said?"

Kat shrugged. "He said that you were a Mary Sue. You know, like a person with no weaknesses. The shy one that secretly is super powerful and ends up winning, you know, because they float to the end. Like.. um?" He paused. "Like Zoey! From Revenge of the Island."

"But Zoey didn't win that season. Remember?" Andie argued. "She won the following season, because of her love affair against Mike, right?"

Kat grinned. "Because?!" She asked eagerly, leaning forward and smiling ear to ear.

"She was a.." Andie paused and then gave Kat a scowl. "A... Mary Sue," she sighed, and threw up her hands walking past Josh, who repeated the words: 'Mary Sue' as she passed. She stood by the contestants, crossing her arms as she did so.

Josh grimaced and walked over to the contestants. "There was one in two chance of me getting on this reality show, otherwise I would have gotten onto a really good interviewing network called the McClean Files," he grumbled.

"Hey!" Chris exclaimed. "How did you know about the McClean Files? That was my top top top TOP secret project! It was in a giant manilla folder that was labelled-"

"The McLean Files McClean File," Josh finished his sentence. "Which Sierra stole and sold to me for about three hundred dollars, which I put on a timer to post on the internet at about three o'clock sharp, when most Total Drama fans will be online."

Chris stood dumbfound and gaping at the statistician, while Chef was bending over laughing. "I love this kid!" He declared. "He has everything that ticks you off, and just rubs it in your face! I... you! You've had this coming for years."

"I... I... I need to take down this site!" Chris exclaimed, and began to run out of the frame. "It's... oh god!" He gasped. "3 o'clock! CHEF!" He screamed. "Get over here NOW! Our you are fired! And bring a tech-y intern with you! And file another restraining order against Sierra! And get me some mint chocolate chip ice cream! I'm gonna stress-eat! And also buy a treadmill! I need to work those calories off!"

Chef rolled his eyes. "There isn't a website, is there?" He asked Josh.

Josh tapped his finger against his nose, and pointed it at Chef. "On the nose."

"I still like this kid, so I'll do the ending scene," Chef said. "Will Chris find out that Josh lied about the website? Is Andie a Mary Sue? Will Kat and Jimmy make some sort of peace agreement? And also-"

"NOW!" Chris screamed. "I think I found it! Do we file a lawsuit against this person? Their name is TheCodyFanForReal2002! Could it be Sierra?"

Chef threw up his hands. "Just... come back next time? Got it?"

* * *

 _ **So this is my writing style, I like to think it is somewhat humorous, because I am very , VERY, modest. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you return for a second. Please review letting me know what you think of the first eight characters, and here are the remaining eight contestants not yet introduced.**_

 _ **Kelly (The Chatterbox)**_

 _ **Jared (The Jester)**_

 _ **Hudson (The Author)**_

 _ **Virginia (The Judgmental Friend)**_

 _ **Lauren (The Straight-A Student)**_

 _ **Winston (The History Buff)**_

 _ **Samantha (The Peacemaker)**_

 _ **Nastasia (The Hypnotist)**_

 _ **So, I hope that you are looking forward to seeing these contestants get their debuts next episode, and the elimination should be the one after that. I apologize for the delay between this episode and the next one, because well... figured I'd say that in advance, I guess?**_

 _ **So long!**_


	2. A Sunny Day in the Void (1)

**The Cast:**

Males: Josh, Jimmy, Jared, Hudson, Jack, Edison, Winston, Michael

Females: Kelly, Kat, Andie, Cassie, Virginia, Lauren, Clover, Nastasia

 **And of course the stereotypes:**

Josh (The Precise Statistician)

Kelly (The Chatterbox)

Jimmy (The Dungeon Master)

Kat (The Insane Supporter)

Jared (The Jester)

Andie (The Normal Person)

Hudson (The Author)

Cassie (The Illusionist)

Jack (The Composer)

Virginia (The Judgmental Friend)

Edison (The Strategist)

Lauren (The Straight-A Student)

Winston (The History Buff)

Clover (The Quick Shot)

Michael (The Handyman)

Nastasia (The Hypnotist)

* * *

The camera opened on a worn out Chris, who was clearly worn out a drop of sweat rolled down his face, and he looked angrily at Josh, who seemed to be looking very proud of himself. Edison seemingly hasn't been fully recovered; he was still out cold on the dock. Andie was bent down next to the strategist. Kat stood condescendingly over Andie, clearly thinking 'Mary Sue'. Jimmy, who was a head taller than Kat, stood over her condescendingly, of course. Cassie had crossed her arms.

"Who was Codyfan2002?" Josh asked amusedly. "Was it Sierra? Or perhaps someone else?"

Chris was clearly not amused. "Of course it was Sierra!" He snapped. "I've filed over ten lawsuits against her, but of course they never work on the internet... or at all," he growled, and paced with his arms behind his back, like a true movie villain. "How many more contestants are there?!" He demanded at Chef.

"You've only introduced half," Chef said, clearly amused at Chris's anger. "You've still got eight to go. Also," he narrowed his eyes now. "You didn't have to interview them. I DID," he was clearly unhappy now.

Edison, although still slightly dizzy, snickered. "Why don't we just make a reality show based on the two of you since your problems outweigh, and not to mention, more interesting than any of our issues."

"That would be really cool to see," Jack said snidely, looking up from his composition. "The story of the two famed reality TV show hosts, who try to host a terrible reality television show, but are no better than the teens they force into the show."

Cassie also seemed amused for the first time since crash landing on the island. "I think composing that would be a good idea!" She grinned. "I've already got the names of the movements."

"Already on it," Jack winked and began rapid typing against his computer. "I think I got it," he said confidently. "Let me just copy and paste this a couple of times," he pressed two keys that were probably control c, and control v. "Let me play it for it," he pressed the space button. It was a bunch of terrible chords, which went up a half step between each chord.

The entirety of the cast burst out laughing, except for Chris and Chef, who looked at the camera with narrowed eyes, and crossed arms. They also shook their heads slowly, showing that they didn't approve.

* * *

Noticeably the theme song music is a half step higher than normal, and everyone winced at the sound of it

 _ **Opening**_

A camera pops out, through a knot in a tree, evidently spying on something below it, and as the camera shifts downward, there is a lake, where a camera jumps out of a lily pad, which sends a frog flying into some brush, where yet another camera pops out from the branches. The frog narrows his eyes at the camera. A boat goes past, carrying the entirety of the cast, including Chris and Hatchet.

 _ **Dear Mom and Dad; I'm doin' fine**_

The camera flies up onto the boat, where it goes through a life preserver on the side of the ship. It then goes to the top, where Chris is manning the steering wheel. He winks at the camera as it goes by. It falls down to the dock below, which is made of wooden slats. It slides between the cracks, to reveal Chef in an uncomfortable position with a plunger, and a toilet. He smiles nervously.

 _ **You guys are on my mind**_

The camera goes below the wood at the bottom of the boat, where Kat is floating beneath the wood, a frown on her face, and her arms crossed. She clearly had been forced under, because after time, her face begins to turn blue. She points upward. The camera goes above the water, sending water up into the air.

 _ **You asked me what I wanted to be**_

Jimmy is at the surface of the boat, one leg on the rail, laughing like a maniac. He is standing beside Edison, who looks over the edge, with a frightened expression on his face. He held his hands over his mouth, as Jimmy was still laughing. Kat's arm reached up out of the water, and grabbed him by the arm, bringing him overboard with her. Edison looks fearful at first, but then shrugs and walks away.

 _ **And I think the answer is plain to see;**_

The camera knocks Edison out of the way, sending him onto the floor. He looks at the camera angrily, but the frame moves up, and then back down and zooms in on Jared, who is laughing at a joke that he evidently made, because Josh is standing next to him, arms crossed, and eyes narrowed. He was clearly unamused.

 _ **I wanna be... famous**_

The camera flew past Jared, who looked very annoyed he was ignored by the cameras, but accepted his fate. The camera flew past Josh, who seemed like he really didn't care, much like Jared's earlier joke. It flew off the boat, and zoomed over to the island, where Kelly was talking to Nastasia, who had her fingers in her ears, and looked at the camera with extreme annoyance, but over the music and Kelly's talk, you could hardly hear whatever she's saying.

 _ **I wanna live close to the sun**_

Hudson was writing with his bright powder-blue quill pen, and on parchment. Winston looked over his shoulder judgmentally, evidently very confused that he was using such outdated paper and writing tools. Hudson looks up, and lifts the quill pen, which glints into the camera.

 _ **Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won**_

Clover was separating a quarreling Kat and Jimmy, who both appeared to be shouting at the top of their lungs. Clover looked very uncomfortable, to say the least, and it showed on her face, it was scrunched and she winced at the sound of Kat and Jimmy's voices at the same time. She finally shouted, which stunned both the dungeon master and the insane person.

 _ **Everything to prove, nothing in my way, I'll get there some day**_

Cassie is holding a deck of cards, and does a strange hand motion, and then the cards disappear. She points to Lauren, who shrugs and reaches into her pocket, and brings out a deck of cards. Lauren looks completely bewildered, and stares at Cassie, who shrugs. Lauren narrows her eyes, and Cassie just shrugs and grins innocently.

 _ **'Cause I wanna be... famous**_

Jack is fooling around with his lap top. The camera turns around to reveal a music composing software, and a mouse moving across the screen, dragging notes onto the staff. A hand reaches out to tap Jack's shoulder. Jack jumps, and looks up. He looks at the camera, a little confused. He shrugged at the camera.

 _ **Na na na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa**_

Kelly is talking to Michael, who is trying to saw something against a table. He grabs a chainsaw from off screen and turns it on, which drowns Kelly out. Michael sighs with relief, only to find that Kelly's talking even drowns out the chainsaw, which he sighs exasperatedly, and turns it off, to accept his fate.

 _ **Na na na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa na na na na na naaaa (I Wanna Be! I Wanna Be! I Wanna Be Famous!) (x2)**_

Andie was evidently drawing under a tree, along with Jared, who peered over her shoulder, and makes a joke. He cracks himself up, while Andie rolls her eyes. After a couple seconds, to Jared's delight, she snickers. Jared points at her, and he looks very happily at her, while she rolls her eyes again.

 _ **Whistling Chorus (I Wanna Be Famous)**_

The time turns from day to night, and the camera falls on a campfire ceremony including all the contestants. Cassie is playing around with decks of cards, Hudson is still continuing to write with his quill pen. Virginia is staring at him judgmentally, and Edison is looking around nervously at the rest of the cast. Chris jumps into the frame, spinning a plate of marshmallows on his finger.

Chris was staring threatening at Jack, who was with his laptop of course, and he shrugged, and smiled nervously.

* * *

Chris and Chef both didn't seem very happy, and the cast was rolling on the ground with laughter, except for Josh, and Jack, one looking fairly proud of himself, the other seemed to be over the joke of Chris and Chef's miserable song.

A scream was heard, and somebody came falling from the sky. They landed in a heap on the dock, and it shook beneath the weight of the entire cast. Both Kat and Jimmy managed to roll into the water with the shake of the dock.

"Best of afternoons to you Clover," Chris was dusting himself off, and also enjoying Kat and Jimmy's pain

Clover got up. She had an interesting attire, wearing a cowboy hat, although, she didn't have an Australian accent when she spoke, so she wasn't a complete stereotype. "At least take some money of your enormous pay check, and invest in a kiddie pool," she said bitterly.

"What enormous paycheck?" Chris said in fake modesty. "I find it inappropriate to talk about how much money I earn in front of aspiring teens," he said. "Also, how did you know my paycheck size?" He asked. Clover nodded towards Josh. "Never mind," he sighed.

Clover ran over to help Edison and Jack pull the quarreling Kat and Jimmy out of the lake.

"I already fell in a couple of times," Edison admitted. "I know it's not great. Especially if you almost have a concussion, that you aren't going to sue for out of the goodness of your heart," he glared at Chris.

Chris walked over to Edison and patted him on the back. "And what a great heart that metaphorical person has," he grinned. "And that may be worth something later."

"How about the person that suggested a simple invention that could save your dock, and however much it costs?" Clover raised an eyebrow. "That metaphorical person?"

Chris disregarded her question, and called. "Next up! Nastasia. Falling from the sky... now!" He exclaimed. On command, a female fell from the sky. She opened her eyes, and some how ended up falling into the water.

"Nice try," Nastasia grinned toothily. "I know that you were trying to get your silly bonus checks, but luckily for me, I was smart enough to-" the boat they were riding earlier also was flying, and crushed the entirety of Nastasia's end of the dock.

Chris grinned. "There's the rest of my paycheck!"

"Not that I don't appreciate this money making scheme, inspiring many greedy people across the world," Clover raised an eyebrow. "Which I don't, just throwing that out there, but that boat will crush the entirety of the dock-" as if on command, the dock gave way, sending everyone on it into the water below.

"COMMERCIAL BREAK!" Chris cried.

* * *

Chris's Cranky Commercial Break

* * *

The camera opened on a desert, featuring the cast, along with Chris. The cast was waking up from the boat crash, while Chris was standing incredibly calmly, considering he'd been crushed along with the teens. Behind him was a wall with a giant monitor on it.

"Where on Earth are we?" Kat asked, sitting up. Edison and Clover were also seen getting up drowsily. Jimmy stretched in the background, his stomach rising into the air.

Clover rubbed her eyes wearily. "Chris not forcing us up in the morning? That's also rather odd," she paused. "Other than the location of course," she said, giving credit to Kat. She began brushing off her hat.

"Also," Edison piled on. "That monitor behind Chris. What on Earth does it say? Also, it's scorching hot outside." He saw a look from Clover, that said 'of course it is, you moron'. "Just an observation," he said sheepishly.

Chris finally decided to speak. "This desert is a part of this new island, as I call it Solstice Island! Behind me is the beautiful scoreboard of this season! By performing better in challenges, you'll get a certain amount of points, which can buy you benefits from me!"

"Benefits?" Andie questioned, dusting herself off. "You mean your little purchasing water from the tap, from season two?" Jack snorted, to her pleasure. "Also, where are the other contestants?"

Chris coughed, interrupting any further questions from the Mary Sue. "These points can get you voting stealing powers, and even immunities if you have enough. For not suing, Edison gets an immediate 500 points for not suing. Also, the other competitors are somewhere around this... desert. I think. We are going to divide you people into teams. If you find someone, add them to your team."

"500 points, huh?" Edison said pridefully, puffing out his chest, rather pathetically. "Better than your... oh? Zero points?" He bragged to Clover, who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"So team one, for lack of a better name, will be Edison, Clover, Kat, Jimmy, and... Michael." Chris announced from a piece of paper, that just seemed to... appear?

Edison and Clover eyed each other dangerously, while Kat and Jimmy looked at each other, looking knives, and stabbing them into each other. Michael seemed a little bit overwhelmed, with the amount of rivalries on his team.

"Team two! Josh, Andie, Jack, Nastasia, and Cassie," Chris said, pointing to the people as he read them off the magical paper. He threw it over his shoulder, and it disappeared.

Josh looked at the vanishing paper curiously. "Excellent!" He said happily. "With the obvious rivalries on the other team, so this only increases our odds of winning!"

"Agreed," Nastasia grinned. "I definitely like those odds. As do you I guess?" She asked the Statistician, who nodded of course.

Chris tapped his foot impatiently. "Well, what are you waiting for? Those other contestants aren't going to last long. Also! The night will be freezing! You'll be dead in about half an hour."

"What about confessionals?" Edison asked. "Can you explain them to us? Like, how do the contestants do them? Do they call a break or?"

Chris winked. "Trade secret! Now! I'll explain them to you, but you have to keep your mouth shut! Commercial break!" He yelled at the cameras.

* * *

The cameras cut to poorly animated version of the final chorus of 'More than Survive' (Be More Chill). It played for about thirty seconds, before cutting back to the show.

* * *

The cameras opened on the first team, consisting of Clover leading the team forward, while Edison followed, Jimmy and Kat were arguing with each other behind him, while Michael had his ears covered behind them.

"Do you people ever stop talking?" Michael winced at the sound of Kat and Jimmy's arguing. The four other people broke out into a chorus of insults, most of them were censored out. "I guess that's my fault," he admitted. "So where exactly are we going?" He asked Clover.

Clover thought for a moment. "I'm not really sure," she said. "At least we have a fool-proof way of getting back. Our foot prints," she said smartly.

"Um.." Michael said, but whatever the rest of what he was saying was covered by Kat and Jimmy. Edison looked back at him curiously. "Did you get that?" Michael asked/yelled to Edison.

Edison shrugged and nodded. "Michael tried to say something to you Clover!" He said to the leading female, who completely disregarded him, and continued her lead forward.

* * *

 **Confessional- Edison**

"First confessional, huh?" Edison asked. "I kind of came in here to say that whatever Michael said must have been important. Lucky for us, we got people more dysfunctional than Hamilton and Jefferson," he said angrily, running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah. Great."

 **End Confessional**

 **Confessional: Clover**

"Wow." Clover breathed. "I've had so much time to think about what to say in my first confessional, but I'm coming up empty. But, I wonder if Edison will be an asset or a setback to my leadership. He seems blindly following me, but if he starts resisting, I'll have to beat him senseless."

 **End Confessional**

* * *

"I think I see someone!" Nastasia cried. "Right up on top of that hill!" She pointed toward a giant mountain of sand. "I got you!" She said, walking toward them. "What's your name?"

The male that she had rescued looked up from his writing. "Hudson," he said. "Thank you for rescuing me, since you know, I flew off a giant ship set to explode by Chris and his morons."

Jack panted, he'd just managed to catch up with Nastasia and Hudson, followed closely by Josh and Cassie. "So you are a composer too?" He asked charismatically, like he knew all.

"A composer of words, I suppose," Hudson raised an eyebrow. "You are one of those band nerds, isn't that right? No wonder you were picked. You are a walking stereotype."

* * *

 **Confessional: Jack**

Jack was typing furiously on his computer. "If I had to compose a song for this episode it would be a very fast pace, that's for sure. And a lot of dysfunctional chords with accidentals to represent Hudson," he said. His normally neat hair, carefully brushed to the right was now disorganized, and strands thrown all over the place. "Gosh, I can't stand this heat," he wiped his brow.

 **End Confessional**

* * *

The first team was sweating profusely, trudging along. Even Kat and Jimmy had stopped yelling. Michael had somehow gotten to the second spot in the strange line, there was a newcomer, female who seemed to judging everybody on her team.

"How is it going back there Virginia?" Edison asked the newcomer, wiping sweat from his forehead, and since he was wearing a suit, he was sweating the hardest.

Virginia crossed her arms. "Fine, thank you," she said. "Sorry if that sounded rude. It's too hot outside to be sincere."

"Um.." Edison said awkwardly. "That's okay... I guess. But, either way we have to keep moving," he panted. "And also, I think see someone else!" He shouted the last part, only to collapse onto the floor.

Clover jumped at the sound of Edison hitting the floor. "Edison!" She cried and ran over. "Where was the person you saw?!" She asked, picking him up. His arms dragged limply, proving the point that he had fainted. In a second, Jimmy collapsed, followed closely by Kat, and Virginia.

"What's going on?!" Michael cried, looking around, at his collapsed team mates around him. "Do you know Clover?!"

Clover also was incredulous. "I have no clue!" She cried hysterically. "By the way," she calmed down a little bit. "Where on Earth are our footprints?!" Her voice raised.

"I tried to tell you earlier!" Michael explained. "We don't leave footprints here, but Kat and Jimmy were yelling too loud-" he was cut off by his collapse, laying spread-eagle before Clover's feet.

"So this is how it ends," Clover sighed, and then she collapsed a second later, and the camera faded out, looking at the entirety of the first team, all knocked out below it.

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this episode. It was really fun to write, and part two will be up soon.**_

 ** _Here are the current teams:_**

 ** _Team One:_** Jimmy (The Dungeon Master), Kat (The Insane Supporter), Clover (The Quick Shot), Michael (The Handyman), Edison (The Strategist), Virginia (The Judgmental Friend)

 _ **Team Two:**_ Josh (The Precise Statistician), Andie (The Normal Person), Hudson (The Author), Cassie (The Illusionist), Jack (The Composer), Nastasia (The Hypnotist)

 ** _I find it interesting that only in the third episode the cast will be fully revealed. Here is a fun fact about the episode: Nothing in this is a mistake other than typos. I spent the most time planning this episode than more then any other episode in this season. It took 3 hours of just planning, and much more critiquing, which would explain why it took me six hours of writing to finish this._**

 ** _Please leave a review, I love constructive criticism, and I'm open to suggestions or theories, if you really want to go the extra mile. Thank you for bothering to read this in your likely busy schedule!_**

 ** _-Dodger_**


End file.
